Going Back to the Source

​So I found out Monday that my fracture is not setting properly, and it is time for surgery. I'd love to say that I handled that news with calm determination, but that was not the case. After the surprise wore off, I hung around for the day in various states of sadness, anxiety, fear, and self pity. I can't believe this is happening and that I am going to walk around with hardware in my wrist for the rest of my d

There wasn't anything I could do about it, and my normal tendency would be numb out, to ignore my feelings and push them away, declare them weak and unnecessary. But instead I just let myself have a day or two of overwhelm and let it all come. I did my mom jobs, I did my teaching jobs, and I let everything flow naturally. That's a pretty big step for me as a world class over thinker and over doer! However, letting feelings flow naturally doesn't mean I didn't take easy obvious steps to relieve my own anxiety and fear. I made sure I spent extra time in my typical meditation practice, adding extra elements and really taking the time I needed to quiet my mind. Doing that allows me to remember that I am more than just this body, these emotions, and these thoughts. I have a wealth of peace and strength within - all I need to do is to find my way back there, again and again.